| (no subject) |
[Dec. 17th, 2008|06:35 pm] |
mwahaha
centerlink payed me the 1000 dollars
must save money |
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| Jane Austin Season |
[Dec. 17th, 2008|02:40 am] |
So Im watching the new version of Sense and Sensibility which BBC made into a 3 part mini series and it is much much better than the Kate Winslet version.. in terms of acuracy and such... LAst year BBC had a Jane Austin season in which they televised film adaptations of all her books and they are pretty awesome...
They are all up on youtube and I have been watching them relentlessly for the past few nights and have also started reading her books again... I think I have fallen in love with them all over again. Coincidently facebook reckons that I am most like Catherine Moreland from Northanger Abbey... not one of my favorites...but she does have some charm to her I guess |
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| Burning Love |
[Dec. 9th, 2008|09:33 pm] |
To all the pyromaniacs out there
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| Manroe or Einstien |
[Nov. 7th, 2008|11:03 am] |
STEP ABOUT 15 FEET BACK AND LOOK AT THIS PICTURE
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 27th, 2008|08:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | room | ] |
| [ | music |
| | bohemian rapshody | ] |
I thought I would be ok with him living here, but I'm not really. I'm still scared to say anything to him. I hate that when I went through what he did, I never was able to talk to my parents about it the way that he can. I hate that my dad is coming over for him, but he never came when I was hospitalized. I hate that when I was sick that mum lost her job and reminds me every time I tell her that I'm feeling depressed. I hate that if they find out I'm feeling this way I'm a selfish and horrible person. I hate that I have to pretend that it's all ok when really it's not.
I hate when I feel this way, I feel ashamed because this isn't normal. I hate that it makes people uncomfortable even if they persist that it doesn't. I hate that I am alone while everyone else isn't. I hate that every time I trust someone I lose them. I hate that I think about things that I shouldn't. I hate that I don't value my own self worth.
I hate feign attempts to reach out to me. I hate pity. I hate people caring because it's the right thing to do. I hate living. I hate the thought of dying. I hate that I can't appreciate that there are others worse off than me. I hate being ungrateful.
And Everyone hates a sob story |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 26th, 2008|11:09 am] |
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I hate people, I hate pretty much every single person that exists at the moment on the face of this Earth... I'm PMSing |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 17th, 2008|09:43 pm] |
I've been reading over my past entries... right from the beginning. I used to be such a tool, I wish someone would have told me how idiotic I sounded at times. Naturally I privatized a few of the really stupid ones, although I do think that the one with the banana leaves will always be there as a reminder of my holidays in Fiji and how much I missed you guys. Also you will be all pleased to know, there will be no more John Cusack fantasies coming your way... they were fun while they lasted though.
It's so funny how much we have all grown up in the last few years, I couldn't help but laugh out loud to many of the entries that I had made, which at the time seemed so mature, but now makes me feel so embarrassed.
I have been a bit upside down for the last few weeks, and it finally got to me today over something so small. Its funny how emotions are triggered by things which are completely unrelated... people probably think I'm a bit of a retard because of it. I know when I go through this crap.. Hella you must think I'm ungrateful, especially when I bitch about the lack of friends thing...but I really do value your friendship. I just hate that I have forgotten how to interact with new people, or people I hardly know and seem like a rock.
I haven't prayed ever since Ramadan ended, how bad is that...actually I prayed Fajr yesterday and thought that was an accomplishment... when really it's not. I'm not sure why it seems hard to do, everything seems hard to do lately...even sleeping..I;m always tired.
My brothers moving in next year, and I'm okay with that. Over the past year his sort of tried I guess to get along with me..I'm still scared shitless to even say hi to him, but maybe that will improve in the years to come... I don't know.
Hugs and Smiles |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 3rd, 2008|06:02 pm] |
Tick Tock…Tick Tock… time is passing by but it feels as though it’s at a standstill. This is the result of an overwhelming feeling of boredom. My mind goes off its normal tangent and boards on several dissimilar ones… eventually fusing back together… but still not making a great deal of sense.
Frustration is building up. I feel as though I invest more of myself into this…I try my hardest to be there when you need me… but when I need you I cannot voice the way that I feel.
The clock is ticking; my mind is still in disarray. The more time that I have…The more I resent you. And then I see you, and all the bitterness and hurt disappears. I love you all over again. I value you as a person more now than ever before.
You come towards me
You hug me
My heart beats as though it is about to protrude from my chest.
You do not know
You do not feel as I do.
And I know it is for the best… but that is no consolation
The clock is ticking, time passes by…and I pray to God, that I can forget about you |
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| My affirmation |
[Jun. 28th, 2008|09:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My room | ] |
| [ | music |
| | A7X Dear God | ] |
You are all beautiful, in the inside and out. It is your nature and the way that you treat others that makes you beautiful. You all deserve the best in life and should never let others tell you other wise. Appreciate the friends that you have and do not long to fit in with others, because it is the ones that you have now that truly love and appreciate you. Never doubt who you are. Be true to yourself and others, never be ashamed and never hold regrets because you can only learn from the mistakes that you make. Always hold yourself as worthy and remember that physical beauty is superficial, and in the end really doesn't matter. Do not let your thoughts mock you, taunt you, or suck the life out of your soul and leave nothing but a breathing corpse. You are more than that. You are beautiful...This is my affirmation to you...
..... and to myself... I may be a little big, ugly on the outside and I may be a little to sensitive, but I am a good person and I care, which makes me beautiful on the inside which is all that really matters.
Hugs and Smiles |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 9th, 2008|01:25 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | my fans humming | ] |
It's been a while since my last entry.. honestly I cant even remember what it was about, and although it would be smart to click the mouse button to take me to my past entries... I really can't be bothered. It's funny you don't realize how much work wears you out until you actually sit down and rest.. and when you finally get that holiday that you have been wanting for so long.. you can't wait to get back.
My mums sick... she's thinking about sending the kids to live with dad because she doesn't think that she will be able to work anymore... I'm not sure whats going to happen anymore...She might decide to leave Australia and I'll have to live by myself... nothing is for sure yet but it's a scary though... I remember going to the shops with her the other day because we had no food in the house.. she isn't well enough to drive you see... because of her medication.. but she took the chance anyway that day just because we had no food in the house... and I don't think she should ever drive again until she is 100 percent better.. while I was in the car I kept noticing all the mistakes that she kept on making... it was scary...
I've been shopping a lot.. but it always seems as though I don't have enough clothes.. does any one else have that problem... I think I've fallen in the trap of not wearing the same thing more than once in a month.
I think my mums trying to get me married.. for the past few weeks... no actually months... no actually since that proposal came she's been going on about how she wants me to marry a good Muslim boy... "he doesn't even have to Bengali as long as his Muslim" I don't understand the need for the emphasis on that, I totally understand the limitations of marriage... if you want to call it that... It's funny because my mum was always the advocate of me marrying at twenty five... never before that...
I was talking to a friend of mine about religion the other day...he was interested in knowing about Islam... I find it cool how he can freely express his beliefs... his not ashamed of who he is... that's so rare to find these days...and I admire him for that... |
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| Grand final.. |
[Sep. 29th, 2007|06:53 pm] |
So today was exhausting.. it was a bit dead today at our outlet.. its just when you work there for five and a half hrs and are fasting you just want to drop dead and die.. I got to watch some of the game though.. wasnt anything spectaculer.. Port Adelade was deplorable!!!! I got to see Jet and Natelie Basingwaith live though.. it was funny when Jet was on though hardly anyone clapped until are you gonna be my girl came on.. although I must say that they are preety good live... evermores playing at Federation Square today after the game... I would have gone... but was ultra tired...
Oh and Carmen.. if your still interested in a job at the MCG theres this thing where we can apply for our friends to be recruited but I cant apply for you till the cricket comes on.. cus I wont be working till then.. but if you want me to.. just let me know and I'll tell you what details you'll need |
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| It's times like these when everything stops making sense |
[Sep. 12th, 2007|06:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My Room | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Cure - Just Like Heaven | ] |
It's been a while since I last updated, with work, visiting the Sikh temple and a marriage proposal I didn't really have the time, or when I did I really couldn't be bothered But it is good to be back blogging although I am unsure if I will update after this anytime soon.
I finally got myself a decent job which pays pretty well, 18.22 an hour is not bad pay and only working during the weekends works very well too. Working at the MCG isn't as grand as I thought it would be, but it's still fun although I get immensly tired after working and wish to do nothing but sleep all of monday.
The visit to the Sikh temple was definatly an experiance, we are always complaining about how people are so ignorant of Islam, I wonder how many of us have made an effort to understand other religions... definatly an eye opener.
Won't really go into the marriage proposal thing, if youre really interested ask HElla, she knows all but I will say that I declined the proposal so no wedding happening anytime soon boys and girls.
I have decided not to go to the My Chem concert only because the seats left are pretty shitty and the Taste of Chaos concerts are during exams which sucks major ass..Must think of better ways to waste work money...any ideas????
Anyways must go now.. I am wearing extremly tight Indian pants which is cutting of blood circilation and limiting my ability to breath... must...go...change.......
Ciao.... |
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| It sucks to be me |
[Jul. 17th, 2007|04:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Swanston Library | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rise Against- I dunno what it's called | ] |
I hate Tuesdays [I start at 9 and finish at 7:30]
I hate Mass Media in Asia [HElla it's your fault for helping me chose it during enrolment]
Im hungry as hell
Maybe I should skip my lecture and go home
Im soooo tired |
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| So Tired |
[Jul. 10th, 2007|12:40 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | My Room | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  frustrated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Nothing | ] |
So RMIT admin officially sucks major balls and then some...
According to Andy[tutor] and my marksheet I've passed Global Processes but until Peter[Lecturer] comes back from God knows where and hands in a change of grade application form to John [Admin person] my results will have me as a failure in Global Processes....
I want my Distinction Dammit!!!
Sigh
Other bad news.. I may have accidently deleated the e-mail i gt from IMAX which confirms our bookings for the Harry Potter movie...which sucks cus mum can't remember if we are supposed to go on Wednesday or Thursday... |
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